Take The Compliment

Society peculiarly frowns upon loving yourself too much, being unduly confident, and being your own PR agent (e.g. Kanye). Be confident, but not too confident; be proud of what you do, but don’t be prideful; praise others, but be sure not to praise yourself. What exactly is the problem we have with acknowledging one’s awesomeness? Why are we not allowed to love ourselves entirely, root for our success, and praise our accomplishments? I work tirelessly to be who I am and be where I am in my life — most often a result of my own perseverance, grit, and tenacity — why am I not allowed to laud my achievements?

Furthermore, on top of moderating our greatness so as to avoid titles such as being "conceited," a "diva," or simply "full of it," women always feel the need to deflect or downplay compliments. It’s almost as if we’re programmed not to be too accepting of compliments — automated by society to have an appropriate response as to why our hair looks great, our clothes are pretty, and why we look thinner. What is this unspoken rule that we’re never allowed to answer, “Oh, this dress? It’s pretty, right? It was stupidly expensive but I busted my ass working at a job I hate to afford it,” or “This hair? I spent $300 on a haircut and dye job on an appointment I had to make 3 months in advance,” or “I look thinner? I pay a $100 monthly membership at a gym where I work out really, really hard 5-6 times a week”?

A few years back, I had to teach myself how to accept compliments. For so long, my knee-jerk reaction was to deny or refute compliments. Not because I didn't agree with what the other person was saying — I've always known I'm a total bitchin' rock star from Mars — but because it felt like the "appropriate" way to respond. Yet, I've learned that like so many aspects of my life, accepting compliments is a muscle you have to use and strengthen. Don’t immediately deflect or rationale kind words, affirmations, and compliments. Embrace and applaud your capabilities and how unbelievably fabulous you are, and allow others to do the same. No one is going to root for you, support you, and look out for you like you, so don’t hold back when it comes to loving and celebrating yourself.

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Stop "Should"-ing

How may times have we come across a product we felt we should have invented (hello, coffee sleeve), or read a book we were confident we could have written better (I'm looking at you Fifty Shades of Grey)? How many YouTube videos have we seen where someone is monetizing on something as silly as having uploaded a video of their fireplace, or read about a piece of art we could have painted selling for millions of dollars? I’ve come across numerous, successful business ideas where I found myself thinking, ‘I could do that.’ Except, I didn't.

Think you can do it? Then do it. Think you can do it better? Then do it better. The most important part being to do it. Eliminate the word "should" from your life. We spend so much of our lives talking about the things we want to do and places we want to go when we could be spending that time actually doing it. “I should put together a business plan,” "I should join a gym," “I should plan that trip to Europe,” “I should write more,” etc. You will always find numerous reasons why you can’t do something. Absent winning the lottery, there will always be something going on in your life, and even then, there are so many situations you can’t just throw money at to fix. So stop "should"-ing and just do it like a mother fucking boss.

I realize oftentimes the idea of something is a lot more appealing than the actual implementation of it. A lifelong dreamer, grandiose ideas have always taken a front seat to the boring details. No one wants to figure out the space-time continuum and all of that bending and warping — we just want to be able to teleport. Likewise, talking and dreaming about success is easier than working towards it. Sure, failure is also a big hindrance. The thing is, you’ll never know whether an idea will be successful or if your dream job is what you even want unless you bother trying.

Can't take off work and travel Europe for a month? Create a fund, and start saving your vacation days. Don't have the money to invest in your genius invention? Put together a business proposal to apply for a small business loan or get it funded on Kickstarter. Want to run a marathon? Start stretching. The only person stopping you from reaching and achieving your goals is you. You don't have to make drastic changes in your life in order for your dreams to materialize but sitting, wishing, and hoping isn't going to get you any closer to attaining what you want. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t at least buy a ticket.

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